Well this was a Bust

the "never date kate" blog was supposed to be about my scandalous [or not so scandalous] single life, and that was pretty much a bust. I have a boyfriend now hah, I didn't think I would this quickly but I do. His name is Greg, we've been friends for like 3 years, and he asked me out a while ago, but like I've said before, I'm petrified of relationships because I can't handle getting rejected. But suprisingly, being in a relationship is easy. I should knock on wood now.
We've only been going out for like a week, and I think it's probably going to last because we're both laid back and don't feel a need for a dramatic teenage relationship. He actually looks a little mad in that picture. It's a terrible picture of him, but I'm gonna put more up of us eventually. He's really sweet and I'm pretty sure he really cares about me. Which is always good hah.
I used to hate when my friend Sam would always be texting her boyfriend or calling him when she was with me, but now I totally see her side. it's like really hard not to text him, or hang out with him and stuff. And I'm afraid I'm gonna become one of those people that ditches their friends for their boyfriend, and that will make me such a huge hypocrite. As if I'm not one already.

Boys

I figured, its 12:19am, I only have to take two finals for english and world studies tomorrow that i know absolutely Nothing about, so why not start a blog.
I have no clue what i'm doing Conforming with the rest of the "social unrest" by writing one of these things, but my best Friend ryan and i think we might just get famous off of a blog. wow, i almost wrote "blong" that could have taken a turn. Anywho. Im thinking the whole point of this is kind of strange. Obviously my friend and i are very optimistic people. [sometimes]
So the Title says "Boys", and i know you people [if anyone] out there is reading this, are like, "dude, when the eff is she gonna start talkin about boys, i like/hate boys, lets hear about boys!" well, you people out there in 'blog-land'.. calm the eff down. :] i will talk about those redickulous creatures in a minute, but first im gonna have to say i have heart burn. Not the kind you get from food-- as far as im concerned.. No, the kind that you get from guys. [[i need a man that looks like that^^]]
Im gonna sound like a whiney bitchy chick to alot of people that have been genuinely hurt out there, but i really dont give a shit. :] and now just sound like a trashy whore. anyWho. ughh..
Boys, "cant live with them, and you cant live with em". yep thats what they say.
I want some answers, some answers to why guys dont care about alot man, ya know? theres so much that guys dont care about. And when they do care, they can get creepy. This guy i knew that i [thank jesus] did not date, but almost did, was a total and complete freak. He knew me, [not even deeply/emotionally] for about 5 weeks, and then he started saying weird shit like i love you.. uhhh.... yeahhh. NO. and he was basically really great, not terrific looking but buff and tall and liked to touch and hug and kiss and the whole pda shit and he was such a feminine guy and he liked alot of the same things i liked, and basically- god answered my prayers with this guy. and when i figured he was too good to be true, i pushed him away, no one understood it, not even me, but i guess what women want, is always what they cant have right? someone back me up on this. but why is it that love or like has to be so god damn complicated? i mean, cant it be beautiful the way its written to be in so many love stories, like the notebook, romeo and juliet, even in macbeth, macbeth loved his wifey til they both went a little crazy. at one point in time love must have been the way everyone wanted it to be. and for two people to love eachother would they have to be equal?
My friends keep telling me, "stop looking for a boyfriend and he'll come to you," the thing im thinking is how can i not look for Something i long for soo much. Im so pathetic and i love "love" lol. im such a sap and an emotional person, and ill do anything to find the guy im supposed to be with, i mean, i would "go to the ends of the earth" to find that perfect guy. I guess another point would be that i cant be so picky.
The reason i call my blog "Never Date Kate" is because i never have dates lol. and its pretty much by choice. There are like 3 guys right now that said they would date me, or at the very least hook up with me, so im not one of those girls just crying about how pathetic and ugly she is that she cant get a date [although if you ask any of my friends i do that] Its just like, ive only ever looked at the really selfish side of dating- i figure, its my life, i can do what i want, and if im single i wont have to worry about drama or someone else, and i can be on my own, no one telling me what to do or whatever. I never saw the other hand, the fact that it would be a really lonely life that way, no one to share it with, no one to always be there to support and love and to have support and love me, at least not fully. And i figure, what the hells the point of high school relationships, you break up when you go to college anyways, and alot of relationships end in total dissappointment. i figured i was protecting myself, until my cousin told me that the point of high school relationships and everything leading up to college/ career/ life relationships, is all about experience, youre in them to find out what you want your man to be like, and what kind of relationship you want.
Being single is about figuring out who you are, and i think because im not sure who i am yet, and im not totally confident and where i need to be at just yet, that i need to be single. But i really want a boyfriend.
im really confused. Until next time..